A Lesson in Object Relations

Yesterday I took two young men shopping for their properly fitting pair of shoes. 🙂  In some ways no different than the other trips I have made but in other ways it was like I saw “my mission statement” fulfilled.  On the way to the mall I told J. and P. that I was not buying the shoes for them and the Crossings was not buying their shoes but my son’s organization was making this shopping trip possible.  I began to tell them about Magnolia Son and the reason why we chose the mission of the organization and how Christian would have loved knowing all these kids were getting their “dream pair of shoes”.  Both boys were very attentive and asked questions and wanted to see pictures of Christian.  J. said “he looks like he would be fun”.  I smiled and said “He was.”  The other boy said “he looks young” and I agreed once again and said “he was”.  They asked questions about Christian and talked about him the entire ride to the mall and as we were getting out of the car P. stated “When I get home I am going to follow your son’s website.”  Then J. stated “Yeah, I am too and I am going to tell all my family to follow the website and to help out if they can.”  It touched my heart that these two boys – one who had no family and the other who did but had limited contact with them, wanted to help and to be involved even though they had so many worries of their own.

After about 30 minutes of shopping I left with two smiling boys holding new shoes and their heads a little higher.  When we got in the car and were driving away P. said

“You know Mrs. Rae every morning when I put my shoes on I am going to think of Christian.”

I had to look out the window and hide the tears because I knew he would not understand the tears.  He wouldn’t understand that I was giving Christian a high five and saying “Exactly!! You will keep living.…. every time one of these boys looks at the shoes they are so proud of, every time one of them tells their family about the gift they received from Magnolia Son and the 21 year old man – a man who was still just a kid at heart and still his mother’s “little man”.  A man who on the day he turned 21 sent a text to his mother and said “Don’t cry I will always be your little man no matter how old I get.”